OK, so today was hard. Not just alittle hard, but almost cheating hard. I woke up in the morning full of energy and I felt great. Not sluggish or anything. It was a wonderful morning, I went to bed at 1am after I finished my 1st lopsided crochet blanket, and then I woke up at 6am on my own. I went and got my blood work checked on and I came home and had a juice. Took Inara to her OT appointment and then went out and drank another juice. I came home and realized I hadnt had any water and I was starting to feel tired. I didnt get a chance to nap but I laid down. All I could think about was food. I was talkin with Kev about all the food cravings I had. I wanted a salad and to stop at Sam's and buy a huge bag of the fresh broccoli and steam and eat the whole bag. By myself and not sharing because it was not a sharing day.
Honestly I dont remember whose idea it was to go to golden coral. But it was bad enough on the cravings that we were both up for the idea. I was waiting for Kevin to get ready adn he was on the computer, I was thinking and thinking and how far we have come and told him, I was glad he was taking so long because I changed my mind. He was dissapointed and asked me if i was sure, then told me he was already ready. We discussed and then talked about what we were going to get. I have no idea what he wanted, but i planned on getting a ton of steamed veggies and a HUGE salad. Possibly a steak. Then we talked about how we probably wouldnt get our moneys worth since we havent eaten in a week we would likely be full before we got much down at all. We talked about maybe going to cheddars so we wouldnt over do it, but then if we went to golden coral Dax could eat too. We settled on golden corral. Got up, went and woke the kids, got them dressed. in my head I kept thinking, how bad is this going to effect us. How much damage? is it going to make us spend the evening in the bathroom. Everything we have sacrificed to get where we were was about to be undone with one meal. Kevin said what I was thinking. "Lets think about this...." we ended up not going. I have never been so thankful that he was the one with the willpower to say no. Everything in me was saying don't do it except for my mouth. He was the one that said Don't do it. I love him for being there for me and for his support. Today would have been completely undone if we had gone.
That said, tommorow makes 7 days, one full week o n our juice fast. We are going to reevaluate everything but I am determined to make it at least 10 days. If I can make it to 10, what is 4 more? If I can make it 2 weeks and dont think we can go any further we may alter things a bit so we are still detoxing, like maybe do the 3rd week as incorporating smoothies and or some healthy fats, 4th week raw food only, We dont want to make plans to end just yet. We are doing our best to stay on the path we have set for ourselves. But make no mistake about this. Today was HARD. I would have failed today if it wasnt for my husband. Yesterday was a breeze compared to today and I am hopping tommorow will be like it was the day before, where I didnt want to cave so soon. With that it is off to slumber land. NITE ALL!
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